I value the opinions of other runners. Generally you have experienced the same ups and downs – but your take on the situation is different.
There is great wisdom in comments.
This comment especially touched a nerve.
“Racing can be a lot of things, and it’s easy to forget why we race to begin with. Racing should never be about winning, or about time. Racing should always be about seeing how hard you can push yourself on any given race day. Sometimes the ‘best’ race people run is also their worst finish time for that distance. And if you tell people your time, they will usually utter an apology. And you usually accept it, because…how do you explain that you fought every step this race, that your mind told you to quit with loudspeakers and drums and your body told you to give up with aches and pains previously unimagined; but that you continued…you fought on…and that you are proud of that time because you refused to let your fear triumph. Most people don’t understand that, finish times are easier to understand.”Thank-you Big - > your awareness is remarkable.